Microsaft.com - Fredrik Åström - Quality of life, achieved.

FUNNY STUFF

Funny/Thoughtful sayings

Never forget a friend, especially those that owe you--Chinese Proverb

In Order to get the handsome prince, you have to kiss a lot of toads.

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.

Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

You can't have everything, where would you put it?

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

It may be your sole purpose in life to serve as a warning to others.

Strangers have the best candy.

Humpty-Dumpty was pushed!

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes. -Jack Handy

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

My husband and I divorced over religious reasons. He thought he was G-d and I didn't!

Earth is the insane Asylum for the universe.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

I almost had a psychic boyfriend, but he left me before we met!

Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back!

If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!

If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look too good either.

When the blind leadeth the blind, get out of the way.

Keep smiling - it makes everyone wonder what you're up to.

Never drink water - if it can rust iron, imagine what it can do to your stomach.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel...just hope it's NOT a train!

I'm not littering... I'm donating to the earth.

If it doesn't fit, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacement anyway.

If you dont like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk!

Chaos, panic, pandemonium - my work here is done.

DEAR IRS, Please cancel my subscription.

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they annoyed me

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defence.

Buy one for the price of two and get the second one free!

Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few weeks of captivity, they can train Americans to stand at the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

If the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body, then only left handed people are in their right mind.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

If you blow in a dog's face-he'll get mad at you, but take him for a ride in the car - the first thing he does is stick his head out of the window!

Man is a peculiar creature. He spends a fortune making his home insect-proof and air-conditioned, and then eats in the yard.

Only in America do we have drive up ATM's with braile on them.

The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is 'uncopyrightable'!

The only ones who aren't grateful on Thanksgiving are turkeys.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is. It's always room-temperature.

money may not buy happiness, but it sure makes misery much easier to live with.

Anyone who says 'Easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried it.

ALWAYS LATE but worth the wait

I'd have a photographic memory but it was never developed

I'm actually quite pleasant until I'm awake

If you're too open-minded your brains will fall out.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

If con is the opposite of pro, what's the opposite of progress?

The difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know, and I couldn't care less.

He's not dead... he's electroencephalographically challenged.

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers
--Joseph Blosephina*

I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn´t explain away afterwards.*

It´s funny- the ppl. who want quiet are always the loudest getting everyone else to shut up.*

Imagine how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.*

Whoever said money can´t buy happiness doesn´t know where to shop.*

Sayings and Stuff

Abundance, like want, ruins many.
Romanian Proverb
Adversity makes a man wise, not rich.
Romanian Proverb
Advice is least heeded when most needed.
English Proverb
After dark all cats are leopards.
Native American Proverb (Zuni)
After lunch; rest; after dinner walk a mile.
Arab Proverb
After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box.
Italian Proverb
The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected.
Swedish Proverb
After three days without reading, talk becomes flavorless.
Chinese proverb
After victory, tighten your helmet chord.
Japanese Proverb
All roads lead to Rome.
Roman Proverb
All roads do not lead to Rome.
Slovenian Proverb
All sins cast long shadows.
Irish Proverb
All things good to know are difficult to learn.
Greek Proverb
All sunshine makes the desert.
Arab Proverb
An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep.
Arab Proverb
An ass is but an ass, though laden with gold.
Romanian Proverb
An iron rod bends while it is hot.
Greek Proverb
The anvil fears no blows.
Romanian Proverb
Ask a lot, but take what is offered.
Russian Proverb
Ask about your neighbors, then buy the house.
Jewish Proverb
Ask the experienced rather than the learned.
Arabic proverb
Avoid the evil, and it will avoid thee.
Gaelic Proverb

- B -

Bad is never good until worse happens.
Danish Proverb
Bed is the poor man's opera.
Italain Proverb
The beginning is the half of every action.
Greek Proverb
Be happy while you're living, For you're a long time dead.
Scottish Proverb
Behind an able man there are always other able men.
Chinese Proverb
Below the navel there is neither religion nor truth.
Italian Proverb
Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.
Chinese Proverb
Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water.
Latin Proverb
Be Prepared
Boy Scout Motto
Be slow in choosing a friend, but slower in changing him.
Scottish Proverb
The best armor is to keep out of range.
Italian Proverb
Be thine enemy an ant, see in him an elephant..
Turkish Proverb
Better a mouse in the pot than no meat at all.
Romanian Proverb
Better be ill spoken of by one before all than by all before one.
Scottish Proverb
Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness
Chinese Proverb
Better be quarreling than lonesome.
Irish Proverb
Between saying and doing, many a pair of shoes is worn out.
Italian Proverb
Beware of a man of one book.
English Proverb
Beware of a man's shadow and a bee's sting.
Burmese Proverb
Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.
Benjamin Franklin
The big thieves hang the little ones.
Czech Proverb
The blind man is laughing at the bald head.
Persian Proverb
A book is like a garden carried in the pocket.
Chinese Proverb
By asking for the impossible, obtain the best possible.
Italian Proverb
By learning you will teach; by teaching you will learn.
Latin Proverb

- C -

Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
Indian Proverb
Children are a poor man's wealth.
Danish Proverb
The church is near, but the way is icy, The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully.
Ukranian Proverb
A closed mind is like a closed book; just a block of wood
Chinese Proverb
Complain to one who can help you.
Yugoslav Proverb
Confessed faults are half mended.
Scottish Proverb
The country rooster dows not crow in the town.
African(Swahili) Proverb
The crow that mimics a cormorant is drowned.
Japanese Proverb
Cuando amor no es locura, no es amor.
(When love is not madness, it is not love.)
Spanish Proverb

- D -

Danger and delight grow on one stalk.
English Proverb
Deceive the rich and powerful if you will, but don't insult them.
Japanese Proverb
The deeper the sorrow the less tongue it hath.
The Talmud
Deliberate often--decide once.
Latin Proverb
A dimple in the chin; a devil within.
Irish Proverb
The doctor is to be feared more than the disease.
Latin Proverb
The dog's kennel is not the place to keep a sausage.
Danish Proverb
The dog wags his tail, not for you, but for your bread.
Portuguese Proverb
Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself.
Miscellaneous Proverb
Do not bathe if there is no water.
Shan Proverb
Do not be in a hurry to tie what you cannot untie.
English Proverb
Do not employ handsome servants.
Chinese Proverb
Do not lengthen the quarrel while there is an opportunity of escaping.
Latin Proverb
Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends.
Czech Proverb
Do not push the river, it will flow by itself.
Polish Proverb
Do not put your spoon into the pot which does not boil for you.
Romanian Proverb
Do not speak of a rhinoceros if there is no tree nearby.
African(Zulu) Proverb
Do not stand in a place of danger trusting in miracles.
Arab Proverb
Do not throw the arrow which will return against you.
Kurdish Proverb
Do not wrong or hate your neighbor for it is not he that you wrong but yourself.
Native American Proverb (Pima)
Don't be too sweet lest you be eaten up; don't be too bitter lest you be spewed out.
Jewish Proverb
Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork.
English Proverb
Don't empty the water jar until the rain falls.
Philippine Proverb
Don't fall before you're pushed.
English Proverb
Don't let your sorrow come higher than your knees.
Sweedish Proverb
Don't live in a town where there are no doctors.
Jewish Proverb
Don't make use of another's mouth unless it has been leant to you.
Belgian Proverb
Don't offer me advice; give me money
Spanish Proverb
Don't open a shop unless you know how to smile.
Jewish Proverb
Don't run too far, you will have to return the same distance.
Biblical Proverb
Don't shake the tree when the pears fall off themselves.
Slovakian Proverb
Don't speak unless you can improve on the silence.
Spanish Proverb
Don't stay long when the husband is not at home.
Japanese Proverb
Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm.
Malayan Proverb
Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water.
Sweedish Proverb
Drink nothing without seeing it; Sign nothing without reading it.
Spanish Proverb
Dwell not upon thy weariness, thy strength shall be according to the measure of thy desire.
Arab proverb

- E -

Eat and drink with your relatives; do business with strangers.
Greek Proverb
Eating and scratching want but a beginning.
Romanian Proverb
Eating while seated makes one of large size; eating while standing makes one strong.
Hindu Proverb
Employ thy time well if thou meanest to get leisure.
Benjamin Franklin
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
Arab Proverb
Enjoy yourself. It's later than you think.
Chinese Proverb
Even a clock that does not work is right twice a day.
Polish Proverb
Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.
Miscellaneous Prover
Every animal knows more than you do.
Native American Proverb (Nez Perce)
Every beetle is a gazelle in the eyes of its mother.
Moorish Proverb
Every invalid is a doctor.
Irish Proverb
Everyone thinks his own burden heavy.
French Proverb
Every path has its puddle.
English Proverb
Every peasant is proud of the pond in his village because from it he measures the sea.
Russian Proverb
Every road has two directions.
Russian Proverb
Everything passes, everything wears out, everything breaks.
(tout passe, tout lasse, tout casse)
French Proverb
Examine what is said, not him who speaks.
Arab Proverb
Experience is the comb that nature gives us when we are bald.
Belgian proverb
The eyes are the window of the soul.
English Proverb
The eyes believe themselves; the ears believe other people.
German Proverb

- F -

Fall seven times, stand up eight.
Japanese Proverb
Fast Ripe, Fast Rotten.
Japanese Proverb
A father is a banker provided by nature.
French Proverb
Fear less, hope more,
eat less, chew more,
whine less, breathe more,
talk less, say more,
hate less, love more,
and all good things will be yours.
Swedish proverb
Fear not a jest. If one throws salt at you, you will not be harmed unless you have sore places.
Latin Proverb
First deserve, and then desire.
English Proverb
The first drink with water, the second without water, the third like water.
Spanish Proverb
First secure an independent income, then practice virtue.
Greek Proverb
Fish or cut bait.
American Proverb
Fish, to taste good, must swim three times: in water, in butter, and in wine.
Polish Proverb
A fool finds pleasure in evil conduct, but a man of understanding delights in wisdom.
Miscellaneous Proverb
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.
Miscellaneous Proverb
A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control
Miscellaneous Proverb
A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.
Miscellaneous Proverb
Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.
Chinese Proverb
From a fallen tree, all make kindling.
Spanish Proverb
From a thorn comes a rose, and from a rose comes a thorn.
Greek Proverb
A full cup must be carried steadily.
English Proverb

- G -

Get what you can and keep what you have; that's the way to get rich.
Scottish Proverb
Give to a pig when it grunts and a child when it cries , and you will have a fine pig and a bad child.
Danish Proverb
Go and wake up your cook.
Arab Proverb
The go-between wears out a thousand sandals.
Japanese Proverb
God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.
Jewish Proverb
God gives the nuts but he does not crack them.
German Proverb
God sells knowledge for labour -- honour for risk.
Arabic Proverb
God will be present, whether asked or not.
Latin Proverb
God gave teeth; He will give bread.
Lithuanian Proverb
God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.
Jewish Proverb
Good fences make good neighbors.
American Proverb
Good men must die, but death cannot kill their names.
Spanish Proverb
Goodness shouts. Evil whispers.
Balinese Proverb
Goodness speaks in a whisper, evil shouts.
Tibetan proverb
Go often to the house of a friend; for weeds soon choke up the unused path.
A paraphrase of a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson, the American Transcendentalist
Another opinion on this quote: Alan Walker states "this particular proverb is part of the 'Lay Of Loddfafnir' in the Viking Edda, and is spoken by the god Odin to one of his initiates". Thanks Alan!
A good painter need not give a name to his picture, a bad one must.
Polish Proverb
Gossip needs no carriage.
Russian Proverb
Gratitude is the heart's memory.
French Proverb
The greater love is a mother's; then comes a dog's; then a sweetheart's.
Polish Proverb
Great men are not always wise.
Biblical Proverb
A guest sees more in an hour than the host in a year.
Polish Proverb

- H -

A half-truth is a whole lie.
Jewish Proverb
The hammer shatters glass but forges steel.
Russian Proverb
A handfull of patience is worth a bushel of brains.
Dutch Proverb
Happiness is like a sunbeam, which the least shadow intercepts, while adversity is often as the rain of spring.
Chinese Proverb
A heart in love with beauty never grows old.
Turkish Proverb
The heart that loves is always young.
Greek Proverb
He fishes well who uses a golden hook.
Latin Proverb
He is rich who owes nothing.
French Proverb
He that does not ask will never get a bargain.
French Proverb
He that is of a merry heart hasth a continual feast.
Biblical Proverb
He that maketh haste to be rich shall not be innocent.
Biblical Proverb
He who is outside his door already has a hard part of his journey behind him.
Dutch Proverb
He who must die, must die in the dark, even though he sells candles.
Colombian Proverb
He who says what he likes will hear what he does not like.
English Proverb
He who searches for pearls should not sleep.
Lybian Proverb
He who wants a rose must respect the thorn.
Persian Proverb
He who would rule must hear and be deaf, see and be blind.
German Proverb
He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
Chinese Proverb
He who builds by the roadside has many surveyors.
Italian Proverb
He who doesn't risk never gets to drink champagne.
Russian Proverb
He who has health has hope; and he who has hope, has everything.
Arab Proverb
He who hurries can not walk with dignity.
Chinese Proverb
He who is not impatient is not in love.
Italian Proverb
He who knows little quickly tells it.
Italian Proverb
He who knows nothing doubts nothing.
Italian Proverb
He who puts up with insult invites injury.
Jewish Proverb
He who respects his parents never dies.
Greek Proverb
He who sows peas on the highway does not get all the pods into his barn.
Danish Proverb
He who undertakes too much seldom succeeds.
Dutch Proverb
He who would leap far must first take a long run.
Danish Proverb
Hide not your talents, they for use were made. What's a sundial in the shade?
Benjamin Franklin
Hours are Time's shafts,
and one comes winged with death.
Scottish Clock Motto

-I-
If a man is destined to drown, he will drown even in a spoonful of water.
Yiddish Proverb
If Jack's in love, he's no judge of Jill's beauty.
Benjamin Franklin
If there is no wind, row.
Latin Proverb
If three people say you are an ass, put on a bridle.
Spanish Proverb
If work were good for you, the rich would leave none for the poor.
Haitian proverb
If you are a host to your guest, be a host to his dog also.
Russian Proverb
If you are patient in a moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.
Chinese Proverb
If you bow at all, bow low.
Chinese Proverb
Za dvumya zaitsami pogonish'sya, ne odnogo ne poimaesh'.
(If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one.) Russian Proverb
If you can't go over, you must go under.
Jewish Proverb
If you can't lick 'em, join 'em.
American Proverb
If you must play, decide on three things at the start: the rules of he game, the stakes, and the quitting time.
Chinese proverb
If you reveal your secrets to the wind you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees.
Khalil Gibran
If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies in yourself.
Native American Proverb (Minquass)
If you scatter thorns, don't go barefoot.
Italian Proverb
If you see in your wine the reflection of a person not in your range of vision, don't drink it.
Chinese Proverb
If you want to be respected, you must respect yourself.
Spanish Proverb
If you want your dreams to come true, don't sleep.
Yiddish Proverb
If you want your eggs hatched, sit on them yourself.
Haitian proverb
If you wish good advice, consult an old man.
Romanian Proverb
If you would be wealthy, think of saving as well as getting.
Benjamin Franklin
If you would live healthy, be old early.
Spanish Proverb
If you would be pope, you must think of nothing else.
Spanish Proverb
If you suspect a man, don't employ him, and if ypu employ him, don't suspect him.
Chinese Proverb
If your head is wax, don't walk in the sun.
Benjamin Franklin
If youth but had the knowledge and old age the strength.
French Proverb
Ignorance is bliss.
American Proverb
In case of doubt it is best to lean to the side of mercy.
Legal Proverb
In reviling, it is not necessary to prepare a preliminary draft.
Chinese Proverb
In times of prosperity friends will be plenty, in times of adversity not one in twenty.
English Proverb
In the kingdom of the blind the one-eyed are kings
Macedonian Proverb
Thanks Margarita for submitting this one! -ed
In the morning be first up, and in the evening last to go to bed, for they that sleep catch no fish.
English Proverb
It is easier to pull down than to build up.
Latin Proverb
It is not a fish until it is on the bank.
Irish Proverb
It is not enough to aim.; you must hit.
Italian Proverb
It is the great north wind that made the Vikings.
Scandanavian Proverb
It is the part of a good shepherd to shear his flock, not to skin it.
Latin Proverb

-J-
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Chinese Proverb
Judge not the horse by his saddle.
Chinese Proverb

-K-
Keep your broken arm inside your sleeve.
Chinese Proverb

-L-
L'amour faite passer les temps. Les temps faite passer l'amour. (Love makes time pass. Time makes love pass.)
French Sundial Motto
A lean agreement is better than a fat lawsuit.
German Proverb
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb.
Let every fox take care of his own tail.
Italian Proverb
Let him make use of instinct who cannot make use of reason.
English Proverb
Let no man deceive you with vain words.
Biblical Proverb
Life is not separate from death. It only looks that way.
Native American Proverb (Blackfoot)
Listen or your tongue will keep you deaf.
Native American Proverb
Listen to all, plucking a feather from every passing goose, but, follow no one absolutely.
Chinese Proverb
A little pot boils easily.
Dutch Proverb
Live together like brothers and do business like strangers.
Arab Proverb
Live with wolves, and you learn to howl.
Spanish Proverb
Live your own life, for you will die your own death.
Latin Proverb
Lomhlaba Unzima, Lohmhlaba. [This world is a harsh place, this world.]
Zulu Proverb
Long absent, soon forgotten.
Romanian Proverb
Look for the good, not the evil, in the conduct of members of the family.
Jewish Proverb
Love and eggs are best when they are fresh.
Russian Proverb
Love is like dew that falls on both nettles and lilies.
Swedish Proverb
Love rules without rules.
Italian Proverb
Love tells us many things that are not so.
Ukranian Proverb
Love your neighbor, but don't tear down your fence.
German Proverb
The loveliest of faces are to be seen by moonlight, when one sees half with the eye and half with the fancy.
Persian Proverb

-M-
Make happy those who are near, and those who are far will come.
Chinese Proverb
Make sure to be in with your equals if you're going to fall out with your superiors.
Jewish Proverb
Man has responsiblity, not power.
Native American Proverb (Tuscarora)
A man is not where he lives, but where he loves.
Latin Proverb
A man's first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart, his next to escape the censures of the world.
English Proverb
The man who does not learn is dark, like one walking in the night.
Chinese Proverb
Many men know how to flatter, few men know how to praise.
Greek Proverb
Measure a thousand times and cut once.
Turkish Proverb

-N-
Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry.
Spanish Proverb
Never do anything standing that you can do sitting, or anything sitting that you can do lying down.
Chinese Proverb
Never draw your dirk when a blow will do it.
Scottish Proverb
Never fall out with your bread and butter.
English Proverb
Never give advice in a crowd.
Arab Proverb
Never give advice unless asked.
German Proverb
Never rely on the glory of the morning or the smiles of your mother-in-law.
Japanese Proverb
Never squat with your spurs on.
Texan Proverb
Never trust the man who tells you all his troubles but keeps from you all his joys.
Jewish Proverb
Never write a letter while you are angry.
Chinese Proverb
Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you.
American Proverb
No call alligator long mouth till you pass him.
Jamaican Proverb
No need to teach an eagle to fly.
     Greek Proverb

     No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see.
     Taoist Proverb
No one is rich enough to do without a neighbor.
Danish Proverb

-O-
Observe your enemies, for they first find your faults.
Greek Proverb
One does evil enough when one does nothing good.
German Proverb
One drink is just right; two is too many; three are too few.
Spanish Proverb
One meets his destiny often in the road he takes to avoid it.
French Proverb
One should be just as careful in choosing one's pleasures as in avoiding calamities.
Chinese Proverb
Only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the noonday sun.
Indian Proverb

-P-
Pray, pray very much; but beware of telling God what you want.
French Proverb

-R-
Ready money works great cures.
French Proverb
The reverse side also has a reverse side.
Japanese Proverb
A rich man has no need of character.
Hebrew Proverb

-S-
Scratch my back and I'll scratch yours.
American Proverb
Set a thief to catch a thief.
French Proverb
Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow.
Sweedish Proverb
Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves.
Italian Proverb
Since we cannot get what we like, let us like what we can get.
Spanish Proverb
A single conversation with a wise man is better than ten years of study.
Chinese Proverb
The sinning is the best part of repentance.
Arabic Proverb
Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.
African Proverb
A snake deserves no pity.
Yiddish Proverb
Speak of the devil and he appears.
Italian Proverb
Spread the table and contention will cease.
English Proverb

-T-
Tell me and I'll forget. Show me, and I may not remember. Involve me, and I'll understand.
Native American Proverb
A true friend, is one that will take a bullet for you in the war.
Italian Proverb
Kindly submitted to quotesandsayings.com by Massimo Raimondi, from a book on Mussolini
Tell me who's your friend and I'll tell you who you are.
Russian proverb
There is a pinch of the madman in every great man.
French Proverb
There is no flying without wings.
French Proverb
There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience.
French Proverb
There is nothing hidden between Heaven and Earth
Venezuelan Proverb
There wouldn't be such a thing as counterfeit gold if there were no real gold somewhere.
Sufi Proverb
Those who have free seats at a play hiss first.
Chinese Proverb
Those who sleep with dogs will rise with fleas.
Italian Proverb
Though a tree grow ever so high, the falling leaves return to the ground.
Malayan Proverb
Three things it is best to avoid: a strange dog, a flood, and a man who thinks he is wise.
Welsh Proverb
To attract good fortune, spend a new coin on an old friend, share an old pleasure with a new friend, and lift up the heart of a true friend by writing his name on the wings of a dragon.
Chinese Proverb
To change and change for the better are two different things.
German Proverb
To deceive a diplomat speak the truth, he has no experience with it.
Greek Proverb
To know and to act are one and the same.
Samurai Proverb
To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.
Chinese Proverb
A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
American Proverb
Trumpet in a herd of elephants; crow in the company of cocks; bleat in a flock of goats.
Malayan Proverb
Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.
Maori proverb

-U-
Under a ragged coat lies wisdom.
Romanian Proverb
Under a tattered cloak you will generally find a good drinker.
Spanish Proverb
Use power to curb power.
Chinese Proverb
Use soft words and hard arguments.
English Proverb
Use your enemy's hand to catch a snake.
Persian Proverb

-V-
Vision without action is a daydream. Action with without vision is a nightmare.
Japanese Proverb
Vulnerant omnia, ultima necat. (All the [hours] wound you, the last one kills)
Latin Proverb

-W-
Wait until it is night before saying that it has been a fine day.
French Proverb
Walk till the blood appears on the cheek, but not the sweat on the brow.
Spanish Proverb
We know the worth of a thing when we have lost it.
French Proverb
What may be done at any time will be done at no time.
Scottish Proverb
We never know the worth of water till the well is dry.
French Proverb
What the heart thinks, the tongue speaks.
Romanian Proverb
What the people believe is true.
Native American Proverb (Anishinabe)

What was hard to endure is sweet to recall.
French Proverb
What you don't see with your eyes, don't invent with your mouth.
Jewish Proverb
What you give you get, ten times over.
Yoruba Proverb
When a blind man carries a lame man, both go forward.
Swedish proverb
When an elephant is in trouble even a frog will kick him.
Hindu Proverb
When anger rises, think of the consequences.
Confucius
When a thing is done, advice comes too late.
Romanian Proverb
When eating bamboo sprouts, remember the man who planted them.
Chinese Proverb
When friends ask, there is no tomorrow.
Miscellaneous Proverb
When in doubt, Gallop!
Proverb of the French Foreign Legion
When one shuts one eye, one does not hear everything.
Swiss Proverb
When spiders unite they can tie down a lion.
Ethiopian Proverb
When the fox preaches, look to the geese.
German Proverb
When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.
African Proverb
When two quarrel, both are to blame.
Dutch Proverb
When we cannot get what we love, we must love what is within our reach.
French Proverb
When you go to buy, use your eyes, not your ears.
Czech Proverb
When you have no choice, mobilize the spirit of courage.
Jewish Proverb
When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other.
Chinese Proverb
When you throw dirt, you lose ground.
Texan Proverb
When you want to test the depths of a stream, don't use both feet.
Chinese Proverb
Where God has his church the Devil will have his chapel.
Spanish Proverb
Where there is a sea there are pirates.
Greek Proverb
Where there is love, there is pain.
Spanish Proverb
Where there are no swamps there are no frogs.
German Proverb
Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.
Confucius
Who depends on another man's table often dines late.
Italian Proverb
Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you.
Spanish Proverb
The whisper of a pretty girl can be heard further than the roar of a lion.
Arab Proberb
Who travels for love finds a thousand miles not longer than one.
Japaneses Proverb
The wise man has long ears and a short tongue.
German Proverb
The woman cries before the wedding and the man after.
Polish Proverb
Words must be weighed, not counted.
Polish Proverb

-Y-
You may laugh at a friend's roof; don't laugh at his sleeping accomodation.
Kenyan Proverb
Young pigs grunt as as old pigs grunted before them.
Danish Proverb
Your friend has a friend; don't tell him.
Jewish Proverb
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
Navajo Proverb

You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.
Irish Proverb

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Why do psychics have to ask for your name?

If a cow laughs hard, does milk come out its nose?

If the #2 pencil is so popular why is it still #2?

If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing in the store is free yet?

The "Psychic Friends Network" went out of business... didn't they see it coming?

Is it possible for someone to become addicted to therapy? And If so, how would you treat them?

Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Isn't is it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why is the word abbreviation so long?

If a word is mispelled in the dictionary, is it mispelled?

And if it is mispelled, how would we know?-AML

Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

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